Science of Santa

How does Santa manage to visit so many children’s homes in such a short time? While this question has been used to doubt the existence of Santa himself, different sciences might provide answers to it. Here are some of them

Astrophysics: Santa is nonluminous material that is postulated to exist in space that could take any of several forms (including the big fat guy in a red suit) that clumps in the locations of children’s houses.

Biology: Santa is a biological entity (such as Dolly the sheep) that produces multiple clones of itself once a year.

Botany: Santa is a mycelium-like vegetative part of a fungus, consisting of a mass of branching, thread-like hyphae that propagate around most of the planet. Once a year it develops multiple fruiting bodies whose locations coincide with the locations of human children’s houses. In simpler terms, Santa is a mushroom.

Quantum Mechanics: Santa consists of multiple quantum objects in an entangled state. His existence signifies the fact that most accepted formulations of quantum mechanics are incomplete.

Cosmology: in its evolution, Santa goes through the epoch of rapid exponential superluminal expansion.

Computer science/Hollywood/sometimes even particle physics: since we all live in a computer simulation, Santa is one of the swarming bots created by the Analyst to control the inhabitants of the Matrix.

Economics: we don’t care how he does it. It positively affects the GDP of many countries.

Advertisement