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Guest bloggers: PEACE Act or how to solve all Wall Street problems October 14, 2008

Posted by apetrov in Funny, Near Physics.
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It is a well-known fact that it is hard to find a job as a physicist – our profession is very competitive. So, with the skills earned in physics and math graduate schools, many of my colleagues end up on a street, a Wall Street that is, a tiny street in New York City, where they make their living. Apparently, this street has been a source of some financial news recently, which prompted my good friends and colleagues David Cinabro, Rob Harr and Zhi-Feng Huang to propose the following bill to be presented to Congress:


Preserving Every Americans Chance to Earn (PEACE)

A BILL

Given that it is well known that physicists and mathematicians are primarily responsible for the 2008 world wide economic crisis (see http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/10/05/60minutes/main4502454.shtml), to preserve the American economy, and other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the `Preserving Every Americans Chance to Earn (PEACE) Act’.

SEC. 2. FUNDING FOR PROJECTS IN BASIC RESEARCH

For the purposes of preventing physicists and mathematicians from getting jobs in the real world where they can do actual damage by putting their ideas and theories into practice rather than having them criticized, peer reviewed, and published in obscure journals there is authorized to be appropriated, and there is appropriated $25,000,000,000 in this and in all following fiscal years to fund projects in basic research. This level may be raised at the discretion of the Secretary of the Treasury if ANY physics or mathematics PhD recipient cannot find a job in basic research.

SEC. 3. EFFECTIVE DATE.

This bill will go into effect immediately after passage in hopes that no more of these brainiacs are tempted by six or seven figure Wall Street salaries, and no more of the idiots who actually make decisions on Wall Street are confused by persons who are smarter than they are.


Comments»

1. Don - October 15, 2008

It still remains a matter of profound impropriety that all of those elected officials and ‘guilty players’ chose to foster the illusion that it was because of people buying homes that this mess happened. Each time I heard that I spat in their direction, figuratively speaking, of course.

How dare they!?

2. 200.8 - January 18, 2009

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