A new joke November 17, 2006Posted by apetrov in Near Physics, Physics.
You might remember my old post, “An old joke“, where I recall a joke list provided by Joe Lykken, which outlines 10 reasons why particle physics is cooler than biology. My colleague and friend here at WSU Peter Hoffmann provided a “balanced response” to this list, providing his own “10 top reasons why biological physics is cooler than elementary particle physics.” I am a fair guy, so here it goes:
10 top reasons why biological physics is cooler than elementary particle physics
1. Biological physics: can cure cancer
Weak force: gives us cancer.
2. Biological physics makes us talk to chemists, biologists, medical researchers, materials scientists
Elementary particle physics makes us talk to… other elementary particle physicists, so it really is a type of intellectual inbreeding.
3. Biological physics: Atoms, molecules, proteins, DNA
Elementary particle physics: German cottage cheese (‘quark’); ‘quark’ also means ‘nonsense’ in German.
4. Biological physics: 100% of life
Elementary particle physicists: 5% of the universe, the remaining 95% they don’t even know what it is.
5. Biological physics: Understanding of genetics, cancer, how cells work and only costs a few million dollars
Elementary particle physics: has already cost us many, many billions and now they tell us that they don’t even know what 95% of the universe is made of!
6. Darwin: Nice beard
Wilzcek: No hair, no beard.
7. Hot topics: Biological Physics: Single molecule manipulation, DNA computers, Nanobots
Elementary Particle Physics: confirming the Standard model for the zillionth time, non-existing pentaquarks, unsolvable theories with no predictions (string theory).
8. Biological Physics Promises: Cure cancer, Alzheimers, grow replacement organs.
Elementary Particles: A few billion dollars to not find Higgs boson.
9. Biological physics: Publish papers under your name for work you have really done.
Elementary particles: Publish with 500 other people for work you had nothing to do with.
10. Biological Physics students: Set up your own equipment for experiments you designed and make interesting observations.
Elementary Particles students: Watch a display in a big accelerator you didn’t design and that most of the time doesn’t do anything interesting anyways.
11. Biological Physics theory: Gene maps, protein structure, single molecule dynamics.
Elementary Particles: Penguin diagrams.
I have to say that some of those are true…