An old joke… September 27, 2006Posted by apetrov in Near Physics, Particle Physics.
It’s almost October, the prime time of the year for job announcements (it’s so nice to have tenure :-)). So many physics departments do just that, they post job ads. A quick look through various databases collected on my old website reveals that, once again, many jobs would go to biophysicists… Our department here is not an exception.
I recall that at the 2000 Meeting of Division of Particles and Fields of the American Physical Society (or simply DPF 2000), held at Columbus (Ohio), Joe Lykken, particle theorist from Fermilab, gave a talk where he outlined 10 reasons why particle physics is cooler than biology. Here they are:
Top 10 reasons why particle physics is cooler than biology
10. Compare jargon:
– quarks, neutrinos, gluons, charm, …
– deoxyribonucleic acid, N-acetyl-D-glucosamine, …
9. Most famous Particle Physics spinoff: World Wide Web.
Most famous Molecular Biology spinoff: cloned sheep.
8. Einstein: hair to spare.
7. Particle Physicists hold conferences in exotic places like
6. Compare Hot Topics:
– warped extra dimensions of space,
– new strains of E. coli.
5. Particle physicists used to be smarter and more arrogant
than Biologists. Now they are just smarter.
4. Nuclear weapons: cheap, safe, reliable.
Biological weaapons: banned by Geneva Convention.
3. Particle Physics promises:
– superstrings, supersymmetry, supercolliders.
– supermice, supertomatoes.
2. Richard Feynman: played bongos, chased girls.
James D. Watson: bird watcher.
1. No rats.
DPF 2000, Joseph Lykken.
Can you think of others? My colleague here added that zero Kelvin always beats zero Celsius…